More Fun Than a Barrel of Wands
by Pokepikachu1
Summary: A compilation of all of the Harry Potter themed story ideas I write. They mostly consist of crossovers and will differ in general rating. Stories may or may not be continued based on the author's and/or the reviewers' desire to see them continued.
1. Eekum Bokum:  Banjo & Kazooie Crossover

Eekum Bokum

**Disclaimer: I own neither the Harry Potter nor the Banjo-Kazooie franchise. It's probably a good thing, because otherwise I might have incentive to write more things that simply should not exist!**

IIIII

It was a perfectly normal night in the perfectly normal neighborhood of Privet Drive. Perfectly normal, that is, until the nighttime silence was interrupted by soft chanting. The chanting slowly increased in volume until the earth shook with each word, though the inhabitants of the small suburb stayed asleep in their beds. Suddenly, a bright light flashed throughout the area before quickly dying. As the light died down, the chanting stopped, leaving absolute silence. Occupying the previously empty street were three figures. Each was rather peculiar, and certainly not something one would normally see in Surrey.

The first figure was the shortest of the trio. Instead of a head, there was a skull perched upon its pink body, two glowing eyes peering out of the sockets. The only thing it wore on its body other than a tunic – indicating that it was in fact a he – was three feathers atop the skull.

The figure next to him was the tallest by far. She – for it was a she – wore a headdress with a single feather on the back. She wore a yellow dress that looked as though it had Native American origins and yellow moccasins on her feet.

The final figure was a bear, of all things. It stood at the height of a full-grown man and wore a pair of yellow shorts and a blue backpack – indicating that it too was a he. Out of the backpack poked the head of a female red-crested breegull.

"Why Mumbo bring Humba here?" the tall woman broke the silence.

"Yeah, bone brain! What's the big idea?" squawked the breegull. Her companions winced at her volume.

"Kazooie, be quiet! There are people sleeping," shushed the bear.

"Bear right. Bird be quiet now or Mumbo make Grunty look weak like Ugger," grunted the skull-headed man.

"Alright, alright. Sheesh, no need to bite my head off, skirt boy," grumbled the bird, suitably chastised by the words of the bear and the man.

"Humba, bear, and bird need to help Mumbo to look for house number four." Seeing the look on their faces, the man hastily added, "Mumbo will explain when there."

Pleased by the man's concession, the quartet walked a ways down the street before reaching their destination. The skull-faced man walked up to the door before pulling out what seemed to be a small skull-topped staff. He quickly rapped the door three times before taking a step back. After a few moments, the door opened to reveal a tall, thin, horse-faced woman who looked like she wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep.

"Isn't it a little late for trick-or-treating? Besides, Halloween was three days ago," the woman yawned, glancing over the short man in front of her, obviously mistaking him for a costumed child.

"Mumbo no here for silly treat-trick. Mumbo here for boy," he responded, ignoring the confusion clearly displayed across his companions' faces. The woman's stance shifted, becoming fiercer. It reminded the man of a she-bear preparing to protect her young.

"What do you want with my Dudders?" she questioned, ignoring the fear bubbling up inside of her as she did so. The man, however, only looked confused.

"Sabreman no mention any 'Dudders,'" he replied. "Only tell Mumbo to get Hairy Otter. Although Mumbo still say Hairy Otter be stupid name for human baby," he continued, muttering the final part under his breath. The woman's stance relaxed slightly. She hesitated, mustering her courage before asking her next question. "What do you want with him?"

"That good question. Humba suggest Mumbo explain before Humba turn him into washing machine," threatened the other woman, causing the thin woman to jump back in surprise as she noticed the figures behind the man for the first time. Though she could now see the woman, the third figure was too far in the shadow to see any distinguishing features. She was quickly distracted from her observations by the man's response.

"Hmph. Humba no scare Mumbo. Mumbo greatest shaman in all world!" he held his head higher, obviously proud of his self-given title. As Humba began to rummage through her pockets, however, the skull-headed man quickly continued his prior statement. "But Mumbo tell Humba and horse lady anyway." He ignored the look of satisfaction on the tall woman's face and the look of shock from the horse-faced woman. He reached into his loincloth before pulling out a letter and holding it out to the thin woman. She gingerly grabbed it with her thumb and index finger, a look of revulsion on her face.

"This letter from Sabreman's brother. He give to Mumbo to give to horse lady. He tell Mumbo to take Hairy Otter back to Spiral Mountain and teach shaman magic." The woman looked up from the letter in shock before shaking herself slightly.

"Fine, I'll go get him. Just don't move," she stated quickly. She then rushed back into the house, as though she was afraid they would leave without the boy if she took too long.

"Humba see now," said the tall woman. "Alright, Humba help too," she continued. The skull-headed man quickly protested before she silenced him with a glare. "Humba no let Mumbo ruin future shaman by teaching wrong way," she firmly stated, clearly unwilling to accept no as an answer. Before the man could protest any further, however, the horse-faced woman returned, a baby in her arms.

"Here, take him and leave," she commanded before slamming the door in the group's faces. The man blinked before turning to the trio behind him.

"Horse lady rude," he commented before handing the baby to the woman beside him. "Here, Humba hold Hairy Otter," he began before he was interrupted.

"Harry Potter," stated the woman. At the man's look of confusion, she pointed to the blanket covering the child. Across it was stitched the words "Harry Potter."

"Okay, Humba hold Harry Potter," amended the man before continuing. "Bear and bird go by Humba. Mumbo need to cast spell to take back to Spiral Mountain." The bear walked over to the woman as the man began to chant. The group quickly disappeared in much the same way they had arrived, leaving no trace behind.

IIIII

**AN: Hey all! I've hit a roadblock or two (or more :P) with "The Revenge of Raijinn," so I've been writing random things to get the creative juices flowing :D. Of course, such writing often gives birth to creatures that should not ever see the light of day. So I decided to put these horrific stories on Fanfiction :D! Aren't you all glad :3?**

**In all seriousness, though, I'm going to be putting any random Harry Potter stories that I write onto this story as a sort of 'idea dump,' if you will. I'll have different stories for each major category I write a story in (this one for Harry Potter, another for Naruto, etc.). Each story will hold all of these random ideas I write down but don't necessarily want to pursue. If enough people like them, I'll continue them with later chapters also published in the same story.**

**If you see an idea you like or would like to try for yourself, feel free to try! Just be sure to send me a link to your story so I can read it :P. Most of these story ideas, however, will be far weirder than this one, so I don't know how many people will want to use them...**

**Anyway, I'm off to write down some more crazy stories!**

**Pokepikachu1**

**雷神 **


	2. A Letter to FFN

I'm sure that many of you have heard of the recent changes to FanFiction(dot)net (FFN). For those of you haven't, FFN has decided to begin removing any and all stories that have "excessive violence" or lemons. Many have, of late, logged onto FFN and found their stories gone with no prior warnings and/or notices. Such blatant censorship and the seeming desire to cover it up or at least refusal to acknowledge it on the part of FFN has me worried for the future of the site. As such, at the risk of having my own story/stories removed for such an action, I am posting this notice/petition.

The notice is as follows. The next chapter of The Revenge of Raijinn will not be posted on FFN so long as the site insists on following their current policies. I have been working on this chapter for a while now, constantly fixing and changing it. This chapter has, since the prior was posted, been planned to finally earn that M rating. As such, it contains scenes of gratuitous torture, both physical and mental. I had been waffling between keeping the torture in and changing it, but eventually decided that the scenes were integral to both character and relation development. Since I have finally graduated high school (and gotten a full ride to an Ivy League College :D!) I had decided to finish the last few scenes and post it within the next week or so. Due to FFN's policies, however, I feel uncomfortable doing so.

Should FFN's policies not change, I will be moving to The Writer's Coffee Shop (TWCS), along with what seems to be the majority of the FFN populace.

My penname there is the same as it is on FFN, namely Pokepikachu1.

I desperately want to give FFN the chance to redeem itself, so my stories and I will remain here until July 2 (or whenever my story/stories are removed by FFN staff), at which point I will be officially moving to TWCS. As such, I plead that everyone read and sign it so that FFN staff will hopefully realize what a foolish decision they have made and reconsider their policies.

The petition is below, and I again strongly urge everyone to sign and post it, whether on profiles or stories.

Greetings to the fine folk that moderate our site.

Myself, along with many, have been writing and posting on your fine site for years now, some of the better examples of up and coming writers out there are now suddenly finding some of the stories we've come to love at risk of being removed without the chance to even rectify our errors.

For some, that means the permanent loss of a story. While I don't have anything that I believe violates your terms of use, there are those out there that are never able to recover a story in its original form, this is something I find to be almost worthy of a legal action, as while we cannot claim ownership of a character, the stories are OURS and simply destroying them is something that is inexcusable.

It's quite easy to simply add an MA rating, additional filters or even a simple requirement for a free membership to read the stories presented here, and would cut down on hateful anonymous reviews and posts at the same time, so I have to question as to why such a thing, in all this time, simply wasn't added.

If you're worried about falsification of a registration then have an appropriate disclaimer and then there can be no dispute, you took your steps and the PARENTS didn't monitor their children, if that is even your concern. If it is more of a personal view or desire then please at least let people know and give them a chance to remove a story that you and yours find offensive, most people on the site are actually rather cordial when it comes to such requests.

While I cannot say for sure if this letter will even reach those that may be willing to listen, of if it's more akin to a wide spectrum purge in preparation for something bigger, please understand that you are going to be losing a LARGE number of your writers, and thus your income from a lack of readers if there is not some level of action taken to help with this situation.

For those that may agree with this, please feel free to sign on and send this to the support server, maybe we can get some movement on this.

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Rocketman1728

dracohalo117

VFSNAKE

Agato the Venom Host

Jay Frost

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Blood Brandy

Dusk666

Hisea Ori

The Dark Graven

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Pokepikachu1


	3. A Magical Masquerade

A Magical Masquerade

Harry was exhausted.

He had been running for what felt like hours, running from the bane of existence. He wasn't sure if they were still behind him, but kept running just in case. Running, that is, until he crashed into something.

"My masks!" he heard the man he had just crashed into cry.

He looked up to see who he had run into, only to see a veritable mountain of masks heading toward him. He quickly covered his face with his arms as to protect it from the sudden avalanche.

"Are you okay sonny?" he heard the man chuckle, seemingly amused at his predicament. He quickly dug himself out of the pile of masks and, face red with embarrassment, stood.

"Sorry about that," he mumbled, looking towards his shoes.

"It's no problem kiddo," the man exclaimed. Shocked at the lack of reprimands, Harry looked up into the man's face. It was a face he vaguely recognized as belonging to Mr. Yuuki (1), the eccentric owner of 5 Privet Drive.

Mr. Yuuki was well known around the neighborhood for having lived there longer than any other resident. Local legends had been made about him for years. Some, presumably based on his odd ears and his deceptively young face, claimed that he was actually an elf that had been living there for hundreds of years. Others, possibly based on the obvious muscles he still retained in his old age, claimed that he was a retired underground fighting champion, hiding from the police. There were even those who claimed he was an ex-secret agent, as he seemed to know everything about everyone in Privet Drive. Regardless of whether one believed the rumors or not, everyone agreed that he was an odd man.

"Don't I know you from somewhere?" he asked, startling the boy out his musings. Before Harry could answer, however, his face lit up in excitement.

"I know! You're the Potter boy!" he crowed in obvious glee that he had remembered Harry's identity. He looked around, remembering what had just happened. As if someone had flipped a switch, his smile disappeared and a look of despair took its place.

"My masks!" he cried again before diving to the ground. He began to pick up the masks and hastily stow them away in his bag. Harry, stunned at the man's speed, could only look on in fascination. In seemingly no time at all, he had all of the masks packed away and the bag on his back. He turned and bowed to Harry.

"Thanks for the help boyo! They do like to get out of the bag every once in a while. Who knows when I would have gotten the chance to take them out?" he nodded sagely, genuine gratitude on his face.

"I've got to repay you somehow," he claimed, a perplexed look on his face. He suddenly smiled as an idea struck him.

"I know! I'll give you one of my masks!" seemingly delighted with this idea, and paying no regard to Harry's faint protests, he reached into his pack. Without looking, he pulled a mask out and pressed it into Harry's hands.

"That's alright Mr. Yuuki, you don't need to . . ." Harry trailed off as he took in the splendor of the mask he held in his hands. It was a beautiful piece of craftsmanship, shaped to look like the head of a snake. Harry ran his hands over it in awe. Each scale, though obviously wooden, looked and even _felt_ real.

"A snake, huh?" Mr. Yuuki's voice was positively overflowing with joy. "You know, you can tell a lot about a person by their first mask," he claimed, nodding sagely once again. Harry said nothing, still entranced by the beauty of the mask.

"It's beautiful," he muttered, causing the man's grin to grow.

"Would you like to learn?" he asked, causing Harry's head to snap up.

"R-really?" he asked, voice quavering slightly. The man nodded.

"Of course! I won't be around forever," here his grin grew slightly, "so I need to teach someone about the joys of mask making before I shuffle off this mortal coil," he chuckled slightly, laughing at his own private joke.

"O-okay. Thank you Mr. Yuuki!" Harry exclaimed as a radiant smile broke out on his face.

"Splendid! I'll arrange things with your aunt and uncle and we'll start tomorrow!" He turned around and started to walk back to his house before looking back.

"Oh, and Potter?"

"Yes Mr. Yuuki?" he asked, confused as to why the old man had stopped.

"Call me Link," he smiled before resuming his walk back home.

IIIII

Harry carefully wiped the sweat from his brow, surveying his work as he did so. On the table in front of him sat a newly finished mask in the shape of a hawk's face. Though not nearly as beautiful as one of Mr. Yuuki's masks, it was a superb effort nonetheless. As he sat back and admired his work, he failed to notice his mentor walk into the room holding a large envelope.

"Good work," the man proclaimed, startling the young boy. As Harry shot him a half-hearted glare, Link merely laughed, finding much entertainment in his student's disgruntlement.

Harry had been studying with Link Yuuki for three years, though he had only been making masks for a little more than one. His aunt and uncle had, oddly enough, been pleased with Link's offer. Vernon had proclaimed that every boy needed to learn a craft and Petunia had been glad he would spend his time "being productive instead of lazing around my clean house." They had even given him the spare room so he could have somewhere to display his masks.

Still grumbling with discontent, Harry merely took the envelope in his teacher's outstretched hand and opened it. As he browsed the letter's contents, however, his disgruntled look changed to one of surprise. He held in his hands an invitation to join Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. As he opened his mouth to comment, he was interrupted by his teacher.

"Spectacular! Simply spectacular!" the man proclaimed, clearly ecstatic about the recent turn of events. As Harry shot him a confused look, Link clarified his statement. "Now that you've received this letter, I have all the proof I need to feel comfortable starting you on soul masks!" The man was hopping from foot to foot at this point, he was so excited. At Link's words, Harry felt his own excitement grow. After finding out about soul masks from his mentor during his second year under the man's tutelage, Harry became very interested in making them.

Soul masks were very dangerous but very useful masks. As the name implied, soul masks held some connection to a recently departed soul. They used this connection to bestow some trait or ability upon the wearer. Some soul masks were more benign than others, both to the wearer and to the connecting soul. Naturally Harry would be learning to make these more benevolent masks rather than the crueler ones.

This was something that Link had insisted upon. "The soul is not something to be trifled with," he had told Harry. "Asking one for help is far kinder, safer, and more rewarding than sealing one." He had even gone so far as to demonstrate what happened to a soul sealed against its will or used for a darker purpose.

Long story short, Harry wanted nothing to do with the darker side of mask making and swore to his teacher to never abuse the soul in making his masks.

As teacher and student rushed out of the room to begin Harry's first soul mask, the letter lay forgotten on the table.

IIIII

Harry dodged to the side as the sink next to him exploded, never taking his eyes off of the creature in front of him. Behind him were two cowering children that, by their appearance, were his age. One had a head full of shocking red hair and the other a head full of bushy brown hair. As Harry and his foe stared off, his hand reached towards his pack before slowly pulling out a porcelain mask.

The mask was an interesting one, especially because it was a soul mask. Harry's first, in fact, and a powerful one at that.

It was a mostly purple face, with spiky white hair around the top and sides. At the very tip were two dark horns, pointing up and slightly out. The features of the face itself were rather intimidating: dark eyes, and a mouth full of sharp teeth. In the mouth was the hilt of a dagger, pointing to the left of the mask.

Link had been rather surprised at the young boy's first mask and had made said surprise known. To have such an affinity with death to make a pact with an ancient Japanese death god – on his first mask, no less – was rare indeed.

Fortunately for Harry, a soul mask created via a pact made with a willing death god was considered a neutral mask. As such, it was safe for him to use. Had he somehow tricked or forced the death god, however . . .

Harry gulped as he pushed those morbid thoughts away and placed his mask on his face. Immediately, he felt power coursing through his veins before a bright light blinded him along with everyone else in the room.

When the light faded, the others could see that where there was once a boy there was now a large, robed figure with white hair flowing everywhere, almost obscuring the purple face that clenched a dagger between its teeth.

The two children froze, overwhelmed by the power emanating from this figure, while the troll felt something it was unfamiliar with.

For the first time in its life, the troll felt pure, unadulterated fear.

Though it was the first, it would not be the last to feel such fear at the hands of Harry Potter.

IIIII

**AN: Hey all! This was just a quick oneshot that wouldn't get out of my head so I wrote it down. I really had a lot of fun writing this story and I hope you all had fun reading it :D. Majora's Mask was my first Zelda game, so I've always been particularly interested in it. This is especially true for the masks and the Happy Mask Salesman, though he doesn't directly appear in this story. It is because of this that I can say for sure that this won't be the last you will all see of MM elements in my crossovers ;D…**

**Let me know if you want to see more of this story :D!**

**Pokepikachu1**

**雷神**

Translations:

Yuuki – Means "Courage," although the exact kanji meaning is something closer to "Courage Spirit" or "Courage Energy."

Kana: ゆうき

Kanji: 勇気

Possible Future Scenes

Troll fight (Yes)

Philosopher's Stone scene (Only if not CS scene)

Chamber of Secrets (Only if not PS scene)

A scene w/ dementors in PoA (Yes)

Graveyard scene

Scene at the veil

Battle at the Ministry


End file.
